Deadbeat dad uses his wife's tax return to pay $7000 worth of unpaid child support without telling her: 'I thought he was making regular monthly payments. We were expecting a refund, but only $175 was deposited.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 25, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

There are so many things that can go wrong while doing your taxes. If you screw up any of the little boxes or say that you made money in Yonkers when you didn't you can literally go to jail. Luckily, we can march on down to H&R Block and ask them to do our taxes for us, but that always comes at a price. Even if it's annoying, it can help a lot to have a real expert tell you precisely what you need to do, especially if you have extenuating circumstances. If you're a regular Joe with only one job and your house didn't flood this year or anything, you should be able to do your taxes by yourself, but no judgment if you don't. Well, I suppose no judgment, as long as you don't use your taxes for nefarious purposes, which is a lot easier than you'd think.

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  • The husband in this story used the taxes he jointly filed with his wife for the most nefarious purpose. Instead of regularly paying his child support for his minor child, he let the $7000 bill get soaked up by the tax return against his wife's back. She had assumed he was making regular payments.

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    FAILURE
    via Mick Haupt

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITAH for being angry my tax refund paid off my husbands child support?

    My husband and I filed our taxes jointly this year for the past two years. I was completely unaware that he had $7,000 in unpaid child support—I thought he was making regular monthly payments. We were expecting a refund, but only $175 was deposited.
    via u/No-Phase2652
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    11 THE UNITED S THIS NOTE IS LEGAL TENDER FOR ALL DEBTS, PUBLIC AND PRIVATE K K76452407F 11 ONE
    via Annie Spratt

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    I feel blindsided, violated, and taken advantage of. When I brought this up, he dismissed my feelings and told me I should be grateful the child support is now paid off because it means he can contribute more money each month.
    via u/No-Phase2652
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    Cheezburger Image 10498271488
    via Bianca Berndt

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    That logic doesn't make sense to me his child is still under 18, so he still has to make ongoing payments regardless.
    via u/No-Phase2652
  • 07
    I feel physically ill. He is not supportive of how I'm feeling whatsoever and is actually angry at me for how I am responding. AITAH?
    via u/No-Phase2652
  • 08
    Bella1643412 Fill out the Injured Spouse Allocation form. NTA.
    via u/Bella1643412
  • 09
    Thom_Jero1213 Tax pro here. This is the way to go.
    via u/Thom_Jero1213
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    krakh3d u/No-Phase2652 this is the answer you need Once you file you the injured spouse form you also need to verify how you filed so that it doesn't go thru his bank account for the refund. Warning as well, ANY combined accounts with both of your names on it are subject to the same thing the next time he does this. And if he's that far behind once there's a strong chance he'll fall behind again.
    via u/krakh3d
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    You can dispute that stuff as well but it's a process and you should know this sooner rather than later. Where has the money he's supposedly spending for his child support been going if he's that far behind? You might have bigger issues that you just found out about. ΝΤΑ
    via u/krakh3d
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    BunnySlayer64 Also consider filing married separate in future years. Just be sure to do so promptly before he tries to file a joint return, and let him know you have done so before he files.
    via u/BunnySlayer64
  • 13
    Accomplished-Fly4992 NTA You're dealing with a man who doesn't pay child support and tricked you into paying it. He is a POS. Don't expect him to be any better than he has already shown. He won't be.
    via u/Accomplished-Fly4992
  • 14
    New_Nobody9492 If you let this go, the next f ed up will be bigger. Cut your losses and get rid of the hobosexual.
    via u/New_Nobody9492
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    Disastrous-Bee-1557 he dismissed my feelings and told me I should be grateful the child support is now paid off because it means he can contribute more money each month. Well if he wasn't paying the child support, and wasn't paying into their joint expenses, then just I was his money going?! I'd be checking for more than hidden debt if I were OP.
    via u/Disastrous-Bee-1557
  • 16
    Loose-Rate6793 Exactly just what I'm thinking man. And let's not forget, you have every right to be angry. Filing jointly means your refund was taken for a debt you didn't even know existed. He hid a $7,000 liability from you, then acted like you should be grateful it's gone. That's not partnership, that's manipulation. You're not overreacting, you're reacting like someone who just got financially blindsided.
    via u/Loose-Rate6793
  • 17
    AssociationHot2423 Your husband knew this would happen which is why he wanted to file joint ly and did not pay any child support. He's also a deadbeat for not paying child support in the first place. I'd suggest a divorce, but just don't expect him to pay to support the kids you have with him either.
    via u/AssociationHot2423
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    DahliaBleur You're right to consider protecting yourself and your children first emotionally, legally and financially
    via u/DahliaBleur
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    Jaded-Ad-7694 Divorced father of now grown children. Parents that don't pay their child support are degenerates.
    via u/Jaded-Ad-7694
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    TrickyShare242 Grown child of parents that abandoned me and didn't pay support so I grew up dirt poor....I completely agree with you.
    via u/TrickyShare242
  • 21
    Spoedi-Probes ΝΤΑ Lesson Learned, file separately next year and separate your finances.
    via u/Spoedi-Probes
  • 22
    Deucalion666 Do one better. Divorce him.
    via u/Deucalion666
  • 23
    SugarCube80 Lawyer here who used to practice family law before I decided I didn't hate myself: there's no way he didn't know he owed that money, and there's no way he didn't know it was coming out of your refund. The notices are insanely pervasive; his job and bank also knew this would happen. He set you up and hid information from you.
    via u/SugarCube80
  • 24
    Purple_Grass_5300 NTA but you shouldn't date a man who isn't a good father. My ex pays $1200/month but still has a $15,000 arrears. In my state, child support will go until college graduation too so 18 may not even be the cut off
    via u/Purple_Grass_5300
  • 25
    gonegirl2015 im getting child support at 68 years old. and he still owes 80 grand. Penalties & interest are a monster. He could have paid a total $250/mo for 2 kids 30-40 years ago. Now they are taking $500 out of his SS
    via u/gonegirl2015

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marriage tax return deadbeat tax money problems taxes wife relationships deadbeat dad husband child support dad money children Father kids
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